Dull, Dense Disciples

Dull, Dense Disciples

Sometimes when I read the Gospels and I am amazed at Jesus’ interaction with his disciples. He asks them if they are so dull or why they can’t grasp who he is, his message, or what it is he is trying to do. They are sometimes pretty dense.

I was thinking about this the other day. I was also thinking about the shear volume of Christian books that have been written since the time of Christ until now. I began to get overwhelmed just pondering it. How many times have Christian writers dissected the Bible and then redistributed it in a way for their contemporaries to understand. The even more amazing thing is that the theme that I here over and over again is very simple.

Love God (for real, don’t just appear to love God). Love people (for real, again appearance of love is not the same thing). And don’t do the opposite of these two things. I have been trying to narrow the opposite down to one word. I think “Selfishness” is the closest word that I have encountered that is the opposite of love (maybe you have one that is more accurate).

That’s it. For all of the vast volumes of Christian works that are out there. We wouldn’t need them if we could grasp “Love God, love people, don’t be selfish”. The problem is that for me (and I imagine for most of us as well) that I am so dull that I can’t grasp that concept. I think "what an easy concept", and then I look at how I have conducted my life over the last 24 hours and think, “Man, that is so difficult”.

Just yesterday I was reading about serving others and a random guy named Bill (the book didn’t give his last name). Bill said, “If we are not willing to wake up in the morning and die to ourselves, perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we are really following Jesus.”(ouch) The same day I read something by a nun from way back in time (the Middle Ages or something) and she was talking about serving others. I thought to myself, “I need to hear this.” I know the whole “Love God, love people, don’t be selfish” thing, but when I read about serving others I realize how far I am off the mark in that one area of life. I think about life in my house, working on a team, or working in the café and all of the areas that I could be a better servant. Then that makes me think how far off I am in other areas things like giving to the poor, taking care of the sick, visiting the imprisoned and so on and so forth.

So, where does that leave me? It leaves me pretty overwhelmed at this simple beautiful concept of love. It leaves me feeling like I fall pretty short of the idea. It makes me feel dense and dull at the very least. I guess it leaves me at the feet of Jesus saying,

“Most merciful God,
I confess that I have sinned against you
in thought, word, and deed,
By what I have done,
And by what I have left undone.
I have not loved you with my whole heart;
I have not loved my neighbors as myself.
I am truly sorry and I humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
Have mercy on me and forgive me;
That I may delight in your will,
And walk in your ways,
to the glory of your Name. Amen"